Brad and Jen:  The Power Couple The World Wants, Not The One They Need

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Gather around keyboard warriors, it’s time for unpopular opinion-time featuring the ever-idolized Hollywood couple, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.  I get it, it’s the love story of the century:  handsome movie star meets up with gorgeous TV actress and the two instantly click both physically and emotionally, wiping away their tears of joy with their seven-figure checks.  It’s time to stop fantasizing and snap back to reality! For all you Brad and Jen lovers who have been clamoring for a reunion, let’s look at a brief history of their so-called fairy tale relationship, then maybe you can stop living nearly 20-years in the past!

In 1998, the Hollywood icons met on a blind date after their agents-turned-matchmakers decided the two celebs would be great together (and add a few extra dollars to their pockets).  First off, 99.9% of relationships that start with the set-up “you two would be perfect together,” end in an utter disaster.  It’s like your grandma trying to set you up with her neighbors creepy grandchild because the relationship would be make you visit her more often. That’s red flag number one!

In 2000, the couple married in a lavish, overly-publicized ceremony in Malibu, costing the them upwards of $1-million dollars. Or in Aniston’s terms,  one paycheck from an episode of Friends. You’re probably thinking, “so what?” Well, according to studies, the more money couples spend on a wedding, the higher the chance their marriage ends up in ‘Splitsville’.  Obviously, correlation is not causation, but still, that’s red flag number two!

Lastly, the bitter divorce!  In 2005, after a brief run of nearly half-a-decade, the once-famed power couple was unplugged as Jen filed for divorce.  Hearts around the world were broken, dreams were crushed, and everyone wanted answers!  Some say Brad was getting dirty with Angelina on the side, while Aniston said they just weren’t on the same page.  Well, someone has to be lying!  Whatever the case, the two actors were clearly not a match made in heaven.  Our third, and final red flag!

Fast forward to 2018. Bradgelina has been disbanded, and after Aniston’s recent divorce with actor Justin Theroux, the two are finally single again!  According to some reports, Theroux found love letters from Brad in Jen’s possession, prompting him to leave for good.  Okay, that’s ridiculous.  Do you know how many physical memories women keep from their past relationships?  Where do you think they get all those oversize hoodies from?

Fans are now chomping at the bit for the couple to get back together, reliving the glory days of 2005.  Come on everyone!  Get your heads out of your past, and just give up already.  It’s been thirteen damn years!  Back when the couple was still married, Destiny’s Child was still a group, Ciara was 1,2-steppin’ with Missy Elliot, and Kanye went off script telling the republican president that he “doesn’t care about black people.”  Okay, maybe that last one hasn’t changed, but it’s time for you to return to present-day and give up on the extinct illusion that is, Bradifer.

Go ahead and commence with your comments.  We always love the feedback!

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