Justin Bieber’s Comedy Central Roast: Hilarious Jokes Skewering The Biebs

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Justin Bieber's Comedy Central Roast

Justin Bieber asked for a roast and he certainly got his wish! Comedians and celebrities enjoyed insulting the 21-year-old singer, with plenty of material to work with over the years.

Comedian and actor Kevin Hart started the show off by saying, “This is possibly the beginning and the end for Justin Bieber.” The four-hour verbal abuse was taped Saturday night and will air on March 30.

The Biebs was referred to as the “bitch of the hour” and the “King Joffrey of pop”.

Kevin Hart Comedy Central roast of Justin Bieber

Led by Roast master Hart, the other roasters included comedians Hannibal Buress, Chris D’Elia, Pete Davidson, Natasha Leggero, and roast veteran Jeff Ross.

Also on hand was Shaquille O’Neal, Martha Stewart (or the “evil white Oprah,” as Hart nicknamed her), Ludacris, and Snoop Dogg.

Snoop Dogg at Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber

No topic was off limits as they took turns making fun of Bieber’s brushes with the law, neighborhood egging, monkey incident, and underwear modeling.

They also tackled his Canadian roots, with Hart saying, “The man proves we’re protecting the wrong border”.

Jeffrey Ross roasts The Biebs

Jeffrey Ross tossed in a diss about Justin’s ex-girlfriend, Selena Gomez, saying, “Selena wanted to be here but she’s dating men now”.

Jeff added, ” it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you? Selena Gomez had sex with [you] … proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.”

One awesome surprise roaster was Will Ferrell as his Anchorman character, Ron Burgundy. He held a glass of scotch and he tried to defend Bieber.

Ferrell stated, ““You people don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. As far as I’m concerned, this guy is doing it right…I always encourage people to stay classy. And what’s more classy than hanging out with Floyd Mayweather?”

Martha Stewart roasts Bieber

Martha Stewart dished out some advice for Bieber for when he “inevitably ends up in prison”.

She offered to teach him a good shank-making lesson and to find himself a powerful, rich girl who is “a player in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom.” She quipped, “So Justin, my final piece of advice is: Call me”.

Justin Bieber's mom Pattie Mallette at Justin's roast

Here’s a few of our favorite offensive jokes from the evening:

• “You’re about to get fu*ked harder that Orlando Bloom fu*ked Selena Gomez.”
• “You acted so much like a pu**y on the show that Ellen [DeGeneres] tried to eat you.”
• “It seems like only yesterday you were discovered on the YouTube. Time flies when you’re a piece of sh*t.”
• “Selena Gomez had to f**k you. She is literally the least lucky Selena in show business.”
• “Justin Bieber really does have it all. I’m serious. He has a di*k and a pu**y.”
• “My castmate on SNL, Kate McKinnon, does a perfect impression of Justin. Right down to the clit.”
• “Justin’s Canadian. He’s actually considered America because no Canadian’s ever been this much of an a**hole.”
• “There’s even a wax figure of Justin in Madame Tussauds in London. I’ve seen it, he’s face down in a wax Usher’s lap.”

Hilarious but ouch!

Celebrities attend Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber

Bieber finally took his turn at the podium, saying, “I’m new to comedy but here’s a joke. What do you get when you give a teenager 200 million dollars? A bunch of has-beens calling him a lesbian for two hours.”

He also revealed backstage that he was planning on celebrating the night by hopping on a flight to Sin City, saying, “I’m going to Vegas…on my jet, b*tch!”

Justin Bieber roast airing date

The Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber airs Mar. 30 at 10 p.m. This is one roast we can’t miss!

Click thumbnails for larger pictures

Images: wenn.com/Comedy Central/AP

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