Charlie Sheen Skewered On Two And A Half Men Finale (VIDEO)


Why didn't Charlie Sheen appear on Two and a Half Men Finale?

Charlie Sheen rejected the chance to appear on the Two and a Half Men finale, but the writers made certain to mention all the crazy incidents in Sheen’s life the past few years.

We all hoped to see Sheen return for the finale show, but there was apparently too much water under the bridge to allow that to happen.

Sheen’s character Charlie Harper “died” in the Season 9 premiere after getting hit by a train (setting up the introduction of his replacement Ashton Kutcher), but it turns out Charlie has been alive all this time.

He was being held in a dungeon by his stalker-turned-wife, Rose (Melanie Lynskey), but managed to break out and escape.

Charlie’s brother, Alan (Jon Cryer), learns that Charlie has $2.5 million of unclaimed songwriting royalties, and naturally tries to get the money.

Only problem: He needs Charlie’s death certificate and no one can find it. Walden (Kutcher) takes to the Internet to look up information but can’t find any details on Charlie’s death.

Walden said, “I found this crazy rant about a former employer”.  Most of you will remember Charlie’s verbal attack on chuck Lorre.

Walden receives a threatening text from Charlie, stating, “You despicable troll. You thought you could replace my ninja awesomeness, you lame clown. I will deploy army of assassins to destroy you, I will bring my bayonets of truth to the hexagon of death where I will carve my initials into your reptilian skull and cover you in tiger’s blood.”

Another dig at the actor was when Arnold Schwarzenegger asks, “Has he tried anger management?”. Alan (Jon Cryer) replies, “Yeah, but it didn’t work.”  Of course Charlie went on to do an FX show called “Anger Management”.

Two and a Half Man slam Charlie Sheen


Schwarzenegger calls and tells Alan and Walden that Charlie was found “in bowling shirt, cargo shorts and babbling away incoherently”, after being found “in a trashed hotel room with a hooker in the closet.”

That was another incident from Charlie Sheen’s personal life.

In the very last scene, a “Charlie” lookalike sneaks up to the house, apparently to murder Alan and Walden — except a piano falls on his head and he dies. Zoom out to show creator Chuck Lorre in a director’s chair, smiling. “Winning!” he says. Then a piano falls on his head, too. The end.

The episode also featured several characters returning including Angus T. Jones – who plays Alan’s son Jake – as well as Marin Hinkle, April Bowlby and Courtney Thorne-Smith, who play Alan’s exes Judith, Kandi and Lyndsey respectively.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Christian Slater and John Stamos also made an appearance.

Charlie Sheen didn’t miss a chance to take another swipe at his former boss. In a tweet earlier Thursday, Sheen plugged his “much-anticipated cameo on network TV”… on an episode of ABC sitcom “The Goldbergs” this week.

“I go where the love is,” Sheen wrote.

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