The NFL has focused its “Deflate-gate” investigation on a Patriots locker room attendant.
Jimmy Kimmel addressed the controversy on Thursday night’s show, with a little help from Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and more (who put on their Boston accents).
The Hollywood stars claimed they were responsible for deflating 11 of the 12 balls, which gave New England victory over Indianapolis that landed them a spot in the Super Bowl.
The celebrities including John Krasinski, Chris Evans, Steven Tyler, Eli Roth, and Dicky Barrett made cameo appearances to defend Tom Brady.
Matt adds, “So I go and I take a football, and I don’t want to squeeze all the air into his little lungs, because I don’t want to ruin the football. So I just take a little bit of air out of most of them, like 11 out of 12 of them, and it does the trick. It absolutely saves his lungs.”
Ben Affleck put on his Boston accent, stating, “I deflated those balls myself, alright? I did it. I’m the perpetrator. You don’t want to believe me, there’s nothing I can say to change your mind, I’m turning myself in.
“My names Ryan “Salty” Flannigan, I’m from Roslindale, Massachusetts, if you don’t believe me go f*** yourself. I love you Touchdown Tommy.”
John Krasinski, who was born and raised in Newton, had his own strange story as he attempted to take the blame for the scandal.
Krasinski said, “My name is Donald O’Donnell McDonald from Revere, but just off the beach. You’re welcome. We hear on the walkies that the Goodyear blimp is going down, it’s careening into the stadium. We hear the captain yell, ‘We need air to save the day’. I start sucking air out of the regulation balls in order to save those people’s lives. I saved 17 people’s lives.
“Tom Brady had nothing to do with it. But let me tell you something. If he did, he would have done the exact same thing because he’s a goddamn hero.”
Chris Evans even donned a thick mustache for his character, later telling everyone to “leave Tom Brady Alone”.
He claims the only way Brady could have deflated the footballs is with his “piercing blue eyes”.
Before the clip ends, each of the stars confess to being “the locker room guy”.
Of course, Kimmel can’t resist making a dig at his “arch nemesis”, Matt Damon.
Kimmel stated, “Do you know why you acted alone? Because nobody wants to act with you”.
The New England Patriots will take on the Seattle Seahawks at the Super Bowl XLIX, which will take place on Sunday at the University Of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona.
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Images: Kimmel Show