Happy Birthday Chuck Norris!

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It’s hard to believe but Chuck Norris is turning 71 today!   And we   can’t celebrate Chuck Norris’ birthday without some great Chuck Norris quotes!

Chuck Norris has obtained cult status after appearing on “Walker, Texas Ranger” and is now celebrated with great T-shirt slogans and quotes.

Norris isn’t only an actor but is also a martial arts expert.   Just last year Chuck Norris became an honorary Texas Ranger.

Chuck Norris also served our country in the U.S. Air Force back in the day.

 

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

CNN was originally created as the “Chuck Norris Network” to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.

Happy Birthday to the awesome Chuck Norris!

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Images: news

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