Katie Couric: Why isn’t it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families struggling with health care, housing, gas and groceries? Allow them to spend more and put more money into the economy? Instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess?

Sarah Palin:

((The bailout? Holy earmarks, this wasn’t in my note cards! Ol’ Grandpa is gonna get mad at me again… Gotta stall while I flip through them in my mind…))

That’s why I say, uh… I, like every American I’m speaking with we’re ill about this, er, position…

((hmmm… the Rove folks said I should say “taxes” and “taxpayers” a lot…))

…that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is, um…

((Oh, loyalty tests, I have no idea whatsoever! C’mon, Sarah, go back through the cards, there must be something there! Card 1: Russia next door, and I’ve been to Iceland. Card 2: I was against the bridge the whole time, honest! Card 3: Health care reform! Yes, I’ll use that!))

…help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to, er…

((Evil library books, I’m stuck again! Card 4: Snowplow politics in a dinky town plus 20 months as gov of the 4th-smallest state is better than degrees in poli sci and law, 13 years teaching constitutional law, and 12 years as state/national legislator from the 5th-largest state. Nope, no good. Card 5: The economy? Okay, that’ll work…))

…help shore up the economy… Helping the, uh…

((Think, Sarah, think! Look down and pretend the cards are actually in your lap! Card 6: Abstinence education is best, just my daughter wasn’t paying attention in class. Holy community colleges, I can’t use that one… Card 7: Job creation! Yay, that’s a good one, give myself a high five!!))

…Oh! it’s got to be about job creation too.

((Now, just like W, gotta repeat myself so it sounds like I meant to say it all…))

Shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and…

((Card 8: Spending! I remembered another one. That’s my favorite notecard, how could I forget it? Silly me!))

…reining in spending has, er…

((Oh, moose carcass! I’m lost again. Ummm… Oh yeah, trust in Rove, say “taxes”…))

…got to accompany tax reductions and, uh… tax relief?

((Sarah, you dingbat, those last two are the same thing!))

…for Americas.

((Tina Fey’s wig, I remembered another one! Card 8: Trade!))

And… trade! We’ve got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive scary thing. But 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity.

((Now wrap it all up in one sentence that answers the original question…))

All those things under the umbrella of job creation, umm…

((Holy witchcraft, you nutjob, not “job creation”, wrap it up with “bailout”! Relax, Sarah Barracuda, we can still do it…))

This bailout is a part of that.

((…and end with a smile. Yay!! I don’t know about Harvard, but at community college, I sure bet that’s a C paper… At least I hope so, otherwise that grandpa guy will get all cranky at me again…))

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Watch the debate with Biden, she won’t answer one single question with a definitive answer. But all we will hear about after the debate is ‘how well she handled herself’.

What a joke.

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