Maxim ranks the top 5 unsexiest women on the planet
Posted on October 12, 2007So the number 5 spot is definitely expected, although I would have prob put her closer to number 1.
5. Britney Spears
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Filling chicken-grease-stained sweatpants on the cover of every trashy tabloid and gossip blog on the Internet.
Why She´s Unsexy: Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, she´s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge.
4. Madonna
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: On tour, at the Wailing Wall, in the pharmacy´s menopause aisle.
Why She´s Unsexy: After building a personal fortune on Top 40 pornography, Madonna traded pioneering sexuality for, like other old Jewish women, self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration. Combine a Paris Hilton-like pet accessorizing fetish only for dirt-poor foreign babies with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and you´ve got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes.
3. Sandra Oh
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Grey´s Anatomy
Why She´s Unsexy: The only thing worse than a show about doctors is a show about sappy chick doctors we´re forced to watch or else our girlfriends won´t have sex with us. We´re holding Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure, personally responsible.
2. Amy Winehouse
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Onstage, offstage, and in the tabloids after cleaving herself and her husband
Why She´s Unsexy: When we first heard this chick boast about her reluctance to go to rehab we thought, Now there´s a girl we can party with! But upon beholding her openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat´s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats, we were the ones screaming, “Nooo, nooo, nooo!”
1. Sarah Jessica Parker
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Sex and the City, Failure to Launch, Honeymoon in Vegas
Why She´s Unsexy: How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with “sex” in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we´d rather ride Chris Noth.
direct source- MAXIM
4 comments
Ya.. Britney definately needs a wake-up call.. she should have been #1
We know ol’ Britney is a crude dirty slob and a mean ugly bitch is why she fell out so far we have to name a new planet to put her in the freezer zone. AMY ..? My gawd even Andy Dick would run away..Madonna is beasty ..a hypocrite and liar so… The rest is physical and they miss out on so much of what makes each Jessica and Sandra attractive to special men, mainly a happy character, kindness, trust, honesty, maturity, grace and a very loving nature.
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